The story began in 2018. I was a normal year 11 student who had no interest in anything in school, but I have changed because of my friends. In 2018, my friends have achieved their goals quite successfully since they have settled their goals in the beginning of the year. I was a bit different from them. I have my goals but I never put my best effort into it. I saw my friends were trying their best in class and I was the only one there that did not even try to do it. The only thing that came up in my mind was “why bother trying, I can just fail. It’s just Level 1.” Although I have thoughts like that I still came back to think about them every time. One day, I saw the application for the Japanese Exchange Scholarship, I looked at it and there was a thought that came up “Trying it might not affect me that much.” I tried applying for it in 2018 but I failed eventually so I thought that “Well this might not be my year.”
The next year, which was 2019, I tried to write a good essay to apply for this scholarship again. I passed into the second round. I thought the second round was going to be a formal interview as a group, asking a question to each of us one by one about ourselves (but as a group), but it turned out to be a fun activity that I didn’t even expect. After the activity had finished, I felt like there was something that I did not complete, I felt like I did not express myself to everyone and I felt like I did not do things with confidence, so I felt like I wouldn’t be surprised if I failed this year. As expected of my prediction, I failed again in 2019.
In the same year (2019), I saw the application for the Japanese Exchange scholarship again in term 3. I was thinking that “If I applied, I would probably fail again. I might as well just save money and go to Japan myself.” Although I have thoughts like that, but I ended up applying again. Surprisingly, I passed the first round and the second round. I was so nervous because I passed the second round and I had to go for the formal interview in the third round as an individual. I prepared for the answer for almost the whole night in the night before the interview, especially for the question like ‘introduce yourself,’ it seemed like a very easy question but it was actually very hard for me because I barely knew about myself. I asked every teacher and every friend I could trust about the questions that the judges might ask, and tried to put things together. On the day of the interview, I did not expect the principal and teachers I knew to be there as well as the sponsors, but they were there. I couldn’t breath for a second when I went into the room because I was freaking out for a couple of seconds. When the judges began to ask questions, I thought I wouldn’t be able to answer any questions but surprisingly I could talk to them like I knew them for ages. I was really worried about my result that time because I was scared that I might fail again since I made it this far.
Finally, the day of the result was released. I went to get a letter from Mr Ali (Director of International Students). I was so scared to open it. I was thinking “it’s fine if I fail, saving money and go there by myself is one of the good choices.” I have this thought before I even open the letter. I decided to open the letter afterwards. I read everything inside thoroughly and stared at it for a while and then thought that “oh…I got it, so I got it. I see.” I didn’t know why I didn’t feel surprised, so I was thinking if I was emotionless, but after days had passed I came to realise that I got to go Japan in 2020 after I read the letter countless times. So, I was screaming inside my head and made a weird smile when no one was around.
AND AGAIN, YES I MADE IT THIS YEAR.
Fah Chotirat 